Miami’s mayoral election is a week away, and thirteen candidates are throwing their hats into the ring to replace Francis Suarez, who is hitting his term limit. Early voting began last Saturday, and the race has already made national headlines thanks in part to right-wing agitator Laura Loomer, who recently called Trump-loving Joe Carollo “woke.” Yes, that really happened.
The field is a mix of seasoned politicians, ambitious newcomers, and professionals who somehow thought City Hall was their next calling. Here is the lineup, alphabetically, for those who want to keep score:
- Laura Anderson: Freight conductor at CSX Transportation in Hialeah. No social media, no website. Basically the stealth candidate.
- Elijah John Bowdre: Executive director of the Miami-Dade Digital Commission and self-styled “Crypto Commissioner.” Claims past work on state crypto legislation makes him uniquely qualified to run Miami.
- Joe Carollo: Former Miami commissioner with decades of political experience and a flair for controversy. Highlights include a $63 million federal judgment against him in 2023, racist remarks about a fellow commissioner, calling opponents communists, and allegedly hitting his wife hard enough to leave a welt the size of a golf ball. No website either. Carollo’s campaign style could generously be called “unfiltered.”
- Christian E. Cevallos: Entrepreneur and FIU grad. Former Miami-Dade Community Council member with a focus on community causes, from COVID-19 mask distribution to International Women’s Day initiatives.
- Kenneth James “KJ” DeSantis: Former city commissioner turned candidate. Details on campaign messaging remain thin, but expect plenty of local connections and political ambition.
- Alex Díaz de la Portilla: Former commissioner and ex-state senator. Once removed from office by DeSantis over bribery allegations that were later dropped. Family name carries weight.
- Emilio González: Former city manager and DeSantis-endorsed Republican. Asset manager by trade, MAGA-adjacent by choice, and apparently here to remind Miami that Trump’s shadow is everywhere.
- Michael Hepburn: Local entrepreneur with little previous political experience. His platform emphasizes business-friendly policies and community engagement.
- Eileen Higgins: Top-polling Democrat, former Peace Corps volunteer, mechanical engineer. Focused on fiscal responsibility and affordable housing, though she has yet to find a way to make term limits interesting.
- Ken Russell: Returning ex-city commissioner with multiple prior congressional bids. Known for blunt language and occasionally sarcastic town hall remarks.
- Jane Savage: Community activist and nonprofit leader, running a low-key campaign emphasizing social services and inclusion.
- Xavier Suarez: Former mayor and father of current mayor Francis Suarez. Family dynasty energy is strong here. Still has a knack for stirring the pot.
- Not Pictured: Laura Anderson: The freight conductor we mentioned earlier, whose lack of online presence is almost a statement in itself.
Miami voters are facing an election that feels part political drama, part soap opera, and part circus. With dynasties, lawsuits, MAGA-friendly candidates, and newcomers trying to shake things up, City Hall might just end up as entertaining as the campaign trail itself.
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